Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
