I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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