Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
