and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
