Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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