I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am naked and annoyed.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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