it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
