he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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