I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
