i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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