No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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