Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
