if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
