I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
