Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
