yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize