Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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