Who did Billy Mays play for?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
