just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
