This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
