all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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