I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize