its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
