It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize