she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
