The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish i was in the wii world.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
