dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
