Swine flu. Run for my life!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
