I wish my penis had an off switch
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
