I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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