i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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