K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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