why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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