My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
