I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I love you.
Bad choice
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
