Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
