just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize