also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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