So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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