I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
