Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
