I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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