I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
