it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
