Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We got so high we made milksteak
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
