I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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