Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize