Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
