i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it glows. i had to have it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
