i permit you to call me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
