4 words: hood of his car
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
