This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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