is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
