hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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