i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
