Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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