I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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