i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
