I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
