She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They took my balls.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
