so that wasnt chicken after all
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I want to fling myself into the sun
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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