he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize