I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
