don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
false alarm, still single
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